garlandgrey-deactivated20130521 asked: Chaotic Good Half Elf Bard, wielding a Keytar that does kaleidoscopic musical attacks and bashing damage, skill points allocated in camouflage, persuasion, and sabotage, able to telepathically communicate with animals.

booditea:

limefriend:

Before going to bed I should warn you that I’ve queued up about 20 copies of that picture of @nuditea holding a plastic fork

I think a few of them accidentally went to a homestuck RP sideblog. oh well

origin stories

(Source: chibisokka, via nuditea)

bedussey replied to your photo: same, aang

WHAT IS THAT POST I’M SO CONFUSED WHENEVER I SEE IT

pfffhaahahah oh no

its not the best story i just posted a picture of me and a collapsable plastic fork w a caption about how i was in love with it and then my brothor reblogged it and took off the caption and i acted really offended that he would invalidate my love like that and then terence reblogged without the caption a couple times to get on my NERVES and now it has nearly three hundred notes the end.

Anonymous asked: look out. its time for some anon hate. i bet u better be ready 4 this cause its gonna be a good one. guess what. u smell like sea prunes. oh snap. i bet u couldnt even throw a boomerang w/ur butt if u tried. boom. roasted. vicious anon hate. water tribe

… wow. you know, normally i’d just come back with a short, snappy, witty reply, but frankly, i think this has gone far enough. maybe if i reveal a few personal details, you’ll all back off a little bit.

when i was young, my family lived in a post-apocalyptic dystopia. my dad worked in the sod factory, using the psychic powers he gained from living in a nuclear war zone to coax individual blades of grass to grow, and my mother swept the factory floor. that’s how they met. they were poor, but they got by, until my brothers and i were born. the eldest tried to contribute as much as he could by scraping up the pulsing purple moss that grew on the mountainsides and selling it to the middle-class as reading lights, but the work was treacherous, and on my sixth birthday, he was absorbed by the plant life and made part of the mountain range’s collective hivemind.

stricken with grief, my father slacked at his job and got fired. my mother fell ill from inhaling the sod dirt and was bedridden. we had no CyBucks left at all, and the landlord was banging on our door.

so my father, weeping as he did so, volunteered me for testing down at the splicing plant. i don’t want any of you to judge him for this. i was young, but i’d grown up fast, and i was ready to do my part for the family. there were a lot of memory-erasing drugs involved in the experiments, but one day i sneaked into the office and read my file. the reason i smell like sea prunes is that genetically, i am half sea prune.

the day after i found that out, the king found the hoverboard he’d been casually fixing up in the castle garage destroyed, and immediately blamed the next county. war erupted again. my father’s dying act was to shove me into the time travel machine in town square just as an enormous bomb went off, and that’s how i ended up here.

so. look. i know i smell like sea prunes, and no, i couldn’t throw a boomerang with my butt, because both boomerangs and playing games with your butt were outlawed in my time. but you know what, i’m proud of who i am, and i’m not going to let you drag me down. anyway, that’s all i have to say; thanks for reading.

also, fire nation 4 life, moonfuckah

sententiola replied to your photo: if netflix ever gains sentience and like a human…

Maybe Netflix… is you! In a sort of in-the-distant-future-you-will-upload-your-consciousness-into-an-entertainment-delivery-system-and-go-back-in-time-to-quietly-guide-and-comfort-your-younger-self / Face of Bo kind of way.

this is literally the only explanation that makes sense to me

centralwaspmonolith-deactivated asked: i just made popcorn with hot sauce on it and oh my god. you are the deity of snacks.

this is a thing that the world will come to recognise, in time

now i’ve reached the part of my facebook timeline where all of my friends and i were really big on ironically liking brokencyde

sententiola replied to your photo: [image: the back of a macbook. the apple logo has…

This looks like ‘Sparkles the party cat: the origin’. It’s the moment where the magic party sparkle radiation field enfolds the mild-mannered cat who is all ‘What’s going on?’ and then *nothing would ever be the same again*.

au-gust replied to your post: WHOOPS.

“yes, like athena i sprang forth, fully armed, from my father’s immortal brow and pealed to the broad sky my clarion cry of war. do you take visa?”

dinokitten:

sententiola replied to your post: emilyswash replied to your post: intheconcertroom…

Satah can do impossible things like this. My current working theory is that ey is an elemental and eir element is internet.

That is the best working theory. We should give it a raise.

(via cumbersuffix-deactivated2011062)

chelle-shock-deactivated2011012 asked: What is your secret to being so cute? Do you have a secret recipe for cutesauce that you make and bathe in every morning? :P

you know, that’s actually a pretty good story, as far as stories from my life go. i mean, i guess i can’t really tell you the whole thing because revealing it all would TECHNICALLY be considered treason? but! uhm! i can tell you parts of it at least!

a few years ago, i was chipping ice with my ax hewn of elven steel (i’m assuming you all remember the story of my short service to torontonian elves; i’ve told it a thousand times), as one does. my cat ran under my feet and i stumbled over her and chopped off my left hand. due to certain magical properties of the ax, i was able to essentially just stick it back on, but i thought it best to go to the hospital just to get a quick assessment.

there was this girl sitting in emerg, waiting for her friend, and we got to chatting. she introduced herself as [REDACTED] and said she was working on her doctorate in [REDACTED] at [REDACTED]. we got to talking about some of the experiments she was running and somehow i ended up volunteering to be in one of them. i pretty much forgot about it until a few weeks later when i got a call from one her undergrad minions.

honestly, i can’t really tell you what they did exactly? i showed up at [REDACTED], sat down in a chair, and pretty much passed out. there were some sparks or something? and something that smelled like wet wool? when i woke up, [REDACTED].

[PARAGRAPH REDACTED] [REDACTED] sooo over the next few weeks, every morning, i’d wander over to [REDACTED] and get a shot of [REDACTED] [PAGE REDACTED] [PARAGRAPH REDACTED] [PARAGRAPH REDACTED] and then when i was lying in the ambulance, i looked in the mirror and had the horrifying realization that it had happened, despite the fight. even with all of the blood and soy sauce on my face: i was cute. they’d won. i’m not going to lie and say it was easy to deal with or anything, especially because people were acting like it was the only good thing to have come from the whole debacle. i mean, i’ve obviously accepted it as a permanent facet of my being by now— but at the time? not so fun. anyway, of course then we had to go defeat [REDACTED]

[PAGE REDACTED] [PARAGRAPH REDACTED] aaand that’s pretty much how it all ended. you can probably tell why it isn’t exactly a part of public record? mehh. i’m over it by now. mostly it sucks not to be able to step foot in russia or ireland until i’m twenty-nine. but there you have it.

tl;dr: [REDACTED]